Ordinary to Extraordinary

This is probably one of my favorite places. It has two things I love: swings and a pond. I have always loved going to the park and playing on the swings. Whenever I go there it just makes me smile for some reason. It's like I go back to being a kid for a few minutes. I find a swing that has a soft creaking sound and take that swing as high as I can go. As I swing I look out at the pond and the day stops moving. Whether on my lunch break, an evening walk, or a weekend visit, happiness lives here for me. Nothing special or life-changing happened here. It's just my own special spot.

Reading through John 4 something new struck out to me about Jesus and the Samaritan woman. Everyday the Samaritan woman had to draw water from the well. I imagine that this was one of her favorite places. It was her time away from people that judged her. Even though she had to go to it in the heat of day, it was her spot to reflect and escape life for a few brief minutes. The peace of that place couldn't follow her back to her home, but the presence of Jesus brought new life. I love how He met her in her happy place. He met her at her own special spot away from the world and the life she created for herself. He called her out on things, but He did it so He could offer her life in abundance. He didn't meet her in a confrontational manner. He did it in and out of love. After meeting Jesus her life changed forever. That day it went from being just HER place to the place where that whole town of people came to know Jesus. Jesus turned her happiness into joy; a joy that followed her from that well into her hometown. I'm sure after that her special place held a new meaning. Jesus took an ordinary task like gathering water for the day, and made it life-altering. Don't you just love Him? :-)

Now he had to go through Samaria. So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph.  Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” John 4:4-7

You can't handle the Truth...or can you?

Tonight I took a walk around my neighborhood. I love walking at night because it is just still. You can hear the wind blow through the trees. Their branches sway and peace resonates over what once was hectic.  When I was in London I enjoyed walking to Waterloo Bridge at night. As they say cities never truly sleep, but a different sort of peace settled over it. A quiet you couldn’t find during the day found its way at dusk. I would just sit on my own little bench and just ponder out the day. I could ask questions I didn’t have time to consider in the middle of the day.

John 3 records a famous conversation between Jesus and a man named Nicodemus. Jesus didn’t get along very well with a group called the Pharisees. In their day it was the ultimate religious clique.  If you have seen the movie Mean Girls they were the Plastics (They didn’t use a slam book, but they literally slammed people) They set the standards for the people, and made an example of those that failed to live up to their standards. They pointed out the weakness in others to try to distract from their own vile habits: pride, greed, and selfishness. Jesus threatened them because he called them out on their hypocritical ways. He saw beyond their “holy” appearances; he saw their hearts. Nicodemus was a Pharisee. To be seen with Jesus was a big time no-no for him, but he had questions and something inside of him said Jesus held the answers. In the cover of night Nicodemus met with Jesus. Nicodemus knew that Jesus was from God, but didn’t know what to make of it. The famously quote John 3:16 comes from their conversation. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” The next verse goes on to that God sent His Son to save the world, not to condemn it. What does that really mean? I quote that a lot and I believe it, but what does it look like in my own life? What does it look like in your life? God’s love is for us. It means that God chose us. God wants us. God desires and plans good things for us. When we accept His love for us and the way He showed His Love we receive the ultimate reward: a life with Him, a life with the One who loves and wants us.

Nicodemus came to Jesus with questions, and He answered them; however, Nicodemus didn’t understand. God can handle our questions. He made us. He knows how to answer them. The real question is are our hearts ready to receive the answers. Personal opinion: I don’t think Nicodemus was ready. He wanted to hold onto his pride. He wanted to believe that he could somehow save himself through religious ritual. Today people believe that good works or reliance on their intellect can justify them. Jesus vetoed that idea then and He rejects it now. He said that his belief couldn’t be found in himself. He could only find life through Jesus Christ. Some of you reading this have been looking for the truth for a long time. I pray that you are ready to receive this truth. I also know that some of you will not understand. It doesn’t change the fact that this is the truth. Truth doesn’t become truth simply because somebody believes it. Truth is truth whether you believe it or not. God loved us enough to give of Himself to a world that rejects and hates Him. You may think God is crazy, and you know what you are right. He doesn’t think like us and his ways are not like ours. His ways are better. Much better.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8

Clumsy + Careless= Catastrophic Consequences

 

Have any of you ever broken anything really valuable? As a child I was probably the clumsiest kid you could ever meet. Okay, if I am being real I am still pretty clumsy. One time in particular stands out to me. When I was 12 I accidentally shattered my mom's Lladro. If you don't know what that is just know that it is really expensive and on top of that it had sentimental value to my mom (catastrophic combination!). I remember how it happened so well. I was sitting at the computer with my friend Mattie. I was being stupid and pushing the rolling chair back and making it stand on its wheels. Yeah, I know what you are thinking. That really helps a clumsy girl be more graceful... Needless to say the chair fell completely back and I tried to stabilize myself by grabbing the desk. The shaking desk knocked the Lladro to the ground. I remember watching helplessly from the floor as the Lladro descended in slow motion. All I had to do was reach out and catch it, but nope I was paralyzed. My friend Mattie just stood there. He said he saw it going in slow motion too, but he couldn't move either. I grabbed all the pieces and put them in a box under my bed. I went to find my dad. Before I could my mom walked in the room, BUSTED! I looked at her in shock, tears starting to form. She somehow just knew. She exclaimed, "MY LLADRO!" Yeah that is when I full on ran out the door. I found my dad and he asked if there was anyway we could put it together again (can you tell that this was a conversation me and my dad had often? yeah...) It was shattered, completely broken, beyond repair. My mom accepted my apology and forgave me, but it didn't change the fact that something precious was broken through my careless actions.

At the end of John chapter 2 Jesus full on loses it when He goes into the temple courts. He sees that what should be a place of worship has turned into a mall of sorts. People are using the temple of God to sell cows and sheep! All I can imagine at this moment is how filthy they must have made His House. Animals don't really control their bowels if you catch my drift. Sacrifices had become common business to the people rather than out of a place of repentance and humility. The people clumsily and carelessly had forgotten about the Most High God. They had failed to show Him the adoration that He deserved. They brought unworthy things into His presence, and what should have been a house of prayer became a den of thieves (Matthew 21:13). Instead, of desiring intimacy with God their pocketbooks ruled their lives. Sound familiar?It became more about what the temple could do for them than what they could bring to the temple. The temple of God was built for who? GOD! Today this sentiment still exists. "I don't go to church because it does nothing for ME." Part of the problem is we care too much about ourselves. Our appearances, our reputations, our money, our clothes, our cars, etc. All of those things will one day pass away. We are missing out on something precious by making church about us, and not about going to recognize the greatness of God. John 2:24-25 ends with these verses: "But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people. He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person." He didn't trust them because they believed readily in signs and wonders for their own enjoyment and pleasure. They didn't want to know Him and befriend Him. They wanted the spectacular more than they wanted a relationship with Him. 

Unlike my mom's Lladro  this can be fixed and repaired. Through the grace of God He can get the church's focus back to Christ and off ourselves. The only way true peace and joy can be experienced in this life is when we let ourselves go and take the hand of Christ. Jesus allowed His sinless, perfect life to be crushed for our iniquities and our sins. He allowed Himself to be broken, so that our souls could remain intact with Him in eternity. Stop forgetting that! Praise and worship Him for He is worthy! 

"His disciples remembered that it is written: “Zeal for your house will consume me.” John 2:17

Without Blinking an Eye

Woohoo! I woke up. Very excited about this if you can’t tell by the woohooing. I decided to stick with John 1 another day. It is just full of too much awesomeness to only do 1 blog on it. It amazes me how fast the disciples followed Jesus. For what these men would sacrifice to follow Jesus it is humbling to think they went forward without blinking an eye. Sometimes you just know without a doubt that something is right.

I graduated from Florida State University, and I can still remember applying to attend there along with some other colleges. I wanted to go everywhere, but stay in Florida. I applied to a school in Chicago, another in California, and another in New York City. Florida State was my in-state application. When I got the acceptance letter from FSU I knew that was where I was supposed to go, so I moved forward with the next steps. Only things were I had never visited the campus, had no close friends going there, and I didn’t know much about the school or the area in general. Even though it didn’t make much sense “logically,” I just knew that was where I needed to be. Couldn’t really explain it with words. Couldn’t justify it on my own.

When two of John’s disciples heard him say that Jesus was the Lamb of God they followed Jesus (1:35-37). No hesitation. I firmly believe that God set a peace in their hearts because he knew them. Many others would come to him and express with words no hesitation, but with one question Jesus would reveal how much they wavered. They also couldn’t keep the joy they had found to themselves (41-45). They weren’t even full-fledged disciples themselves, but they had to go out and make more! What they had been waiting for had finally arrived! Nathanael’s response is probably one of my favorites. When he is told about Jesus he says, “Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?” (46). Then he is easily swayed over when Jesus reveals where he was sitting before he was approached. In response Jesus said, “You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You will see greater things than that.” He then added, “Very truly I tell you, you will see ‘heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on’ the Son of Man” (50-51). More amazing things are to come from our discipleship under Christ. More amazing than even our conversions. Carry that with you today. The best is yet to come.

Words Matter

I’ve decided this morning that I am going to go through the book of John on this blog. With God’s help, a loud alarm clock, and strong tea/coffee I want to start off the day reading the Word of God and meditating on it. I am good at reading the Bible…you know the Speedy Gonzalez approach of checking it off my list and going about my day. That simply isn’t enough.

The first chapter of John is packed with application. I almost want to spend a week on John 1 alone. I might split the chapter into parts. Every time I read this chapter something new can be discovered. John 1:1-5 consistently stands out to me. If you don’t know me, let me tell you about my love of words. I LOVE words! I love to sing them, rhyme them, turn them into metaphors or similes, speak in hyperboles, encourage others through them, challenge them to go deeper, use them to make people laugh, etc. Words and me go way back, but not as far as the Word and God.

John 1:1-5 basically says God is His Word. God brought forth the world with words. Genesis 1:3 records that God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. He cannot be separated from His Word. That is why there is one thing that God can’t do. He cannot break His Word because it is who He is. John 1:14 describes Jesus as “the Word [that] became flesh and dwelt among us.” Really take time to consider what this means. If Christ Followers are called to be like Jesus and His Word is the same as whom He is, then we should reflect on what our words say about us. We need to mind our tongue. Words bring life or death. If you speak lovingly, then you are love. If you speak profanely, then you are vulgar. Matthew 15:18 says, “But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean’.” What do your word choices, promises, vows say about you?

Can't and Won't

Every person should read at least one biography a year. Why? Biographies show that the people we proclaim as heroes were often common and unordinary to the naked eye. We look at historical world-shakers like Martin Luther King Jr., Corrie Ten Boom, and Billy Graham, and dismiss ourselves. However, if you actually knew their stories you would know how it was simple, small moves of obedience that marked their lives with greatness.  Leading up to World War II Corrie Ten Boom lived an ordinary life; some might even call it boring. When the Nazis invaded Amsterdam she had a choice. She could ignore the inhumane, unjust, horrific actions shown to her Jewish neighbors and stay ordinary. However, if she acted God’s glory could be shown in her life. Despite knowing that if she was caught she would share their fate, she chose to act and hid Jews in her house. The chance to do great, life-changing things is never just thrust upon someone. It is a choice to accept opportunities or walk away from them.

Too many of us are our own worst enemies. Who needs Satan when we so easily take the axe to our dreams and chop them to pieces? I am going to sacrifice the words “can’t” and “won’t” when it comes to talking about my walk with God and future plans He has in mind for me.  I am sick of mediocre when Jesus Christ could never be described with such a vulgar word. If I claim to be a follower of Christ then my life should model His, and wonderful actions should be a part of it. Instead, of limiting what God can do in your life chase big dreams. Pray over holy desires that are impossible without the intervention of our amazing Heavenly Father. Expect God to move. Don’t be surprised when He does. Be ready when He calls you and prepare yourself for the discipline and commitment His calling brings. At that time get off your knees and MOVE.  Allow God to resurrect a dream that you have written off. 

From Wilderness to Promised Land

In the middle of nowhere I hear a voice.

It whispers words offering me a choice.

Will I choose the truth that matters?

Will I hope against hope even if it means I shatter?

My heart pumps harder and I run.

His words echo, but I shout I am done.

I plug my fingers into my ears.

I forget the faithfulness He has shown over the years.

In my wild state my mind wanders.

I enter a path covered in mistakes and blunders.

I forget my role as child of the King.

I give myself away for temporary things.

Labeled worthless and used by others,

I finally turn back to the arms of the Father.

He whispers of love and grace.

He lovingly wipes away the tears from my face.

I know I will hold onto things I wish could forget.

He tells me that His perfect love can drive away my fret.

He pulls me close and takes my hand.

We walk away from the wilderness and into the promised land.

Poem

Sometimes I wonder what I actually believe.

Why does doubt cloud my mind?

Why am I so easily deceived?

God seems far, distant, out of touch.

Does He love me? If so, how much?

I have heard that He sent His Son

to fulfill a promise, to assure that it was done.

On Calvary’s cross Jesus chose to die.

He became low and left His place on high.

When the crowd’s shouts and jeers filled His ears,

He saw them as precious; still holding them dear.

Though they cost Him immense pain,

He saw the finished picture and counted it as gain.

I remember this truth when my feelings run wild.

My identity is found in being His child.

Burn the Ships

Music is kind of a big deal to me. I can't imagine my life without music. If you know me you know I burst out in song about every five minutes. Some people might think that is an exaggeration, but if you know me you know that is no hyperbole. When I think back to my kid days (the days when I was actually a kid and not the ones where I act my shoe size) two musicians come to mind: Mr. Steven Curtis Chapman and Mr. Michael W. Smith. My brother and I used to jam to them ALL the time. They are the soundtrack of my childhood and frequented many home videos. Tonight I have been thinking about one of my favorite Steven Curtis Chapman songs is "Burn the Ships."These are the lyrics: 

In the spring of 1519 a Spanish fleet set sail

Cortez told his sailors this mission must not fail

On the eastern shore of Mexico they landed with great dreams

But the hardships of the new world make them restless and weak

Quietly they whispered, "Let's sail back to the life we knew"

But the one who led them there was saying

Burn the ships, we're here to stay

There's no way we could go back

Now that we've come this far by faith

Burn the ships, we've passed the point of no return

Our life is here

So let the ships burn

In the spring of new beginnings a searching heart set sail

Looking for a new life and a love that would not fail

On the shores of grace and mercy we landed with great joy

But an enemy was waiting to steal, kill, and destroy

Quietly he whispers, "Go back to the life you know"

But the one who led us here is saying

Burn the ships, we're here to stay

There's no way we could go back

Now that we've come this far by faith

Burn the ships, we've passed the point of no return

Our life is here

So let the ships burn

Nobody said it would be easy

But the one who brought us here

Is never gonna leave us alone

Burn the ships, we're here to stay

There's no way we could go back

Now that we've come this far by faith

Burn the ships, we've passed the point of no return

Our life is here

So let the ships burn

The whole song is about completing the mission set forth for the adventurer. Too many times we all start a journey with good intentions and hope for the best to only give in when it gets a little rough. We are like "I'm out. What I had before wasn't that bad. At least I knew what to expect."  It reminds me of the Israelites complaining to God about eating manna all the time, and saying "Oh God why did you bring us out here?! We were better off in Egypt." Right they were better off in a place that killed their sons, put them in bondage, basically treated them like garbage....okay I'm totally seeing their point (rolling my eyes).  Sad to say we are not much better. When God gives me a vision of what He wants to do I am pumped and fully on board, but when it starts to go differently from what I imagined I become jumpy. I start to question and ask "Why are You having me go through this? How can this be Your perfect will? It doesn't feel good." First off as the lyrics of Mr. Chapman's song shows the Enemy uses our feelings to lead us astray. We can't trust our feelings. They are too easily manipulated by circumstances. God's truth has to be our foundation. We also have to take away the option of turning back and fleeing from God. Deciding not to press on is as stupid as if the Israelites turned around and went back to Egypt to be slaves once again. We need burn our ships to fully rely on Christ and make Him our only option. 

He never promised it would be easy. Growing never is. There is a reason why the phrase "growing pains" came into being. However, He did say that He would never forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8)     We serve a loving God who wants so much for us, and the little that is required on our end is truly small with the abundance He gives us in return. Just like in working out the pain that produces the muscle isn't fun at the time, but flexing those muscles once you have them is awesome!

Silence is deafening...

I’ve been doing a challenge recently to be silent and surround myself with silence for one hour a day. Challenge is definitely the right word to describe it. Noise constantly surrounds me. In today’s world silence is more deafening than sound.  We carry mobile devices that make it easy for people to reach us by calls, texts, and e-mails. We are never alone even when we are alone, but our society seems to have more problems with loneliness than ever before.  We are never far from the demands of this world; constantly at its beck and call.

Standing for God in a world that abhors Him is not easy. This isn't a new thing. In 1 Kings 19 the prophet Elijah ran from a wicked queen named Jezebel. She killed many prophets and promised to do the same to him. In fear he fled. Can’t say I blame him. Discouraged and downtrodden Elijah requested that God take his life. The Lord strengthened him and led him to His mountain where they could talk. I Kings 19: 9-13 says: And the word of the LORD came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 10 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.” 11 The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.” He spoke softly to His child. I believe that is still how He speaks. In our hustle and bustle, in our zeal for the Lord we can miss out on Him. We can miss what He is saying because we have Him on mute and the world on full blast. That is also why the prophet Elijah grew discouraged.  He only saw the circumstances in front of him rather than Who stood behind him. In verses 15-18 God reveals to him that not all of Israel has bowed to Baal, but that He has reserved 7,000. Elijah was not the only one left. When Elijah got quiet he was able to hear the voice of God. When we get quiet it gives God a chance to reveal what He is doing, and gives us the ears to hear it.

A lot of times when I expect God to move I am waiting for a huge sign that resembles an earthquake or a fire. God most definitely can use things at that level to get our attention, but most of the time He speaks to us quietly. He whispers to us and waits to see if we will respond in faith just like He did with Elijah. James 5:17 reminds us that Elijah was just a man, but God did the extraordinary through Him because he took the time to listen and pursued God's direction in faith.  Sometimes He leaves room in our circumstances for us to choose to trust Him or doubt that He will work it out. God’s ways of doing things often do not match our imaginings. That is why it is not a recommendation, but ESSENTIAL to spend time with Him. We are bombarded with messages, but it is His message of loving truth that needs to invade our minds, hearts, and spirits. Let His whisper drown out the shouts of what is only temporary.

Bible in 90 Days Challenge! Picking up with the story of mi amigo Joseph :)

                Lately, I have begun a challenge to read the Bible in 90 Days. It is not actually a speed reading challenge as I originally thought. It is more like getting to know the outlining story. I want to keep a blog to preserve the lessons that God is teaching me through this time.  I easily forget how God has already worked in my life, and grow discouraged far too quickly.

               Last night I read through the story of Joseph. Personally, the story of Joseph has to be in my top 3 favorite Bible stories. I love to see how God uses a once egotistical, prideful, arrogant teenager to save not only his family from starvation during a 7 year famine, but pretty much the whole world. That is CRAZY and that is God. God does what is impossible for man.  Joseph starts his life as know-it-all, tattle-tale. God uses unlikely circumstances to produce in Joseph a heart that seeks God’s will and not his own fleshly nature. I can’t even imagine being sold into slavery by my family, accused of rape when completely innocent, and forgotten in a prison cell by all, but God. WOW!! I asked myself if I have the kind of faith that would endure trial after trial, and in it all hold onto the promise that God would lift me up to a place beyond my most daring imaginings.

                Living in a land that despised Hebrews, Joseph continued to live for God and not mold to the world around him. In Genesis it says he found favor with God. Do we find favor with God? As Christ-followers we are called to a higher standard. A standard that is not our own and does not come naturally. It is a standard that says deny yourself and choose to follow God. Personally I grow discouraged when I see Christ-followers claim a relationship with Christ, but not actually living for Him. How can any of us be in a relationship with someone that we never make time for? Keith Green has a song called “You Love the World (and you’re avoiding me). One of the lyrics is “You used to pray, you were so brave, Now you can’t even keep one appointment we’ve made, Oh I gave My blood to save your life, tell me, tell me is it right?, Tell me will you leave me here alone again tonight?” When they curse and get drunk every Friday night, when they wear clothes that are immodest, when they pursue relationships that are not equally yoked, I question myself and wonder why I am following a standard that my brothers and sisters have discovered is obsolete. I’m imperfect and I want what I want as much as the next person. However, I want to be like Joseph and do what is right even when I am punished for it.  I wish Joseph had a journal or a diary, so I could read about his daily struggles and see how his faith built through the testing. Sometimes I get lost in the testing and forget that God will produce fruit through my pain.

                What also gets to me is the part in the story where Joseph interprets the dreams of the cup-bearer and the baker. He asks the cup-bearer to not forget him and the cup-bearer promises, but guess what?! HE FORGETS!!!!! Two years go by before Joseph is released from prison. I got two things out of this: God doesn’t work in our timing and God is the one that ALWAYS remembers us. God worked it out for his glorious plan. If the cup-bearer had remembered Joseph, Joseph probably would have never received an audience with Pharaoh and might have simply gone home to his family. However, God didn’t want Joseph to SIMPLY go home to his family. God immensely blessed him and manifested the dreams of his youth. I always have to remind myself that God wants to get me to where I want to go more than I want to get there. He has a righteous plan for all of our lives. Joseph’s sufferings were not in vain. God strategically placed him in prison for a reason. I pray that I learn to trust God more and not be governed by what I see. I desire to live by faith. That is what pleases God. That is how Joseph found favor with God. He lived by faith in less than encouraging personal experiences. His faith took him from self-boasting to God-promoting. You see this when he stands before Pharaoh and tells him that only God can interpret his dreams not a man.

I could go on and on, but I will stop because I have to go to work. To my amazement the Word of God always has something new to share with me and something new to unearth. It really is living and breathing!!

Uniquely His

Do you ever wish that you could literally walk with God for a moment in time on earth? Looking up at the stars and moon tonight I wish Jesus and I could take a long walk together on the beach and talk. I know He would probably tell me everything He is saying to me now, but being able to audibly hear His voice and see His facial reactions would be comforting. Recently, I had an experience that may be the closest I have to that on earth. I was listening to praise music as I walked on the beach. I wanted to know that God knew who I was and that I mattered to Him. That everything I have been feeling lately doesn't escape Him. I looked down and saw the name "Sarah" spelled in cursive in the sand. I was not expecting that at all, and it just made me smile and laugh. God knows my name and knows me. He knows all of us. God loves each of us uniquely. He loves us because we are uniquely His.

Sometimes I forget that God marked out time to create me. His hands made me and knew me before my parents ever held me. I believe that He talks to each of us in our mothers' wombs. He spoke to us before our ears were fully formed. He knew who we would be. I find that amazing, baffling, and life-altering. We are loved beyond our ability to comprehend. It doesn't matter who we are to others. It doesn't matter if the world loves or hates us, whether we are well-known or forgotten. He doesn't define us by other people's terms. His Love is what defines us.

Even though I would love to physically walk with Jesus, I know that He is never far from me. He is only a prayer away. He is waiting to hear from His beloveds.

Feed My Sheep

For a few months I have had this statement running through my mind, " Do you love me? Feed my sheep." It sometimes greets me when I first wake up, other times it comes to me in the middle of a conversation. It has made me think more and more about what "feeding sheep" looks like.

This week took a lot out of me. By the time today rolled around I was wiped. This afternoon I was sitting across from a person, and I didn't care what she said. All I cared  about was that she said her piece so I could run my agenda. It made me feel literally sick to my stomach. I had to turn myself back on, and actually listen to her. I heard a teaching on Sunday about how sometimes we walk around and act like we have "Do Not Disturb" signs on our necks. I started off the day praising God, but I let circumstances of the day stop me from staying in praise mode. I decided to close others out and stop caring. That's NOT okay. God doesn't just call His children to look after one another when we are feeling awesome and on point. A lot of times blessing others is how we escape our bad moods. It is incredibly freeing to know this world does not revolve around us and our crazy, unpredictable emotions.

The way we show our love for Jesus is by loving others. The Bible says it is impossible to love God and hate one of His children. One of my joys is loving on others, but this week I learned that I have been using my own supply of love rather than relying on God. I am burnt out and depressed because I am not looking to Jesus to replace my love supply. The best way to fall back on God for me is to praise Him and sing songs that remind me of His infinite nature and steadfast love. One of my friends says that when you are in praise mode it is hard for the Enemy to come in and hit you. When my focus is on Christ I don't lose heart, when I lose sight of Him I begin to sink.

Feeding His sheep requires more than serving others out of a sense of duty or obligation. It is how we show God we love Him and that we trust Him to replenish us.

First Post in A While

I haven't kept a blog since I lived in London. Recently I gave up going on Facebook, so I need to replace one habit with another.

My name is Sarah, and I am a 20-something trying to stop figuring everything out. Lately God has been calling me to be more patient (...yea....) and to trust Him more. Patience is not one of my favorite virtues to work out. It reminds me a lot of the gym. When someone goes to work out at the gym he/she usually likes to work out their favorite feature. I like to run on the treadmill, but I hate weight training (It has nothing to do with the fact that I have no upper-arm strength). Developing patience is like picking up a heavier weight for me. The whole time I am thinking "Why is this needed?" however I usually like the feeling of pride I have when I can open up the bottle of water all by myself (if only I was kidding...).

I want what I want when I want it. In the past if I didn't see God moving in an area of my life that I wanted Him to move in I would just try to make it happen myself. I actually believed that He would be so proud of me and give me an "A" for effort. You know cause I was being self-reliant. The sad thing is when I have chosen my timing over His timing my race has been hindered from progressing.

I know it makes God happier when I love Him and trust His timing rather than try to do things on my own. Also, doing things on my own apart from Him makes no sense. The opening stanza of Psalm 127 says "Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain." If God isn't in it, then it is not worth it to make it happen because nothing will come of it. I don't want to do anything apart from God. With God there is success even in what others label a failure. God doesn't have us wait for the sake of waiting. He has us where we are for a reason. Pastor and author Mark Batterson wrote, "God wants you to get where God wants you to go more than you want to get where God wants you to go." He will complete the good work in us that He has begun. God doesn't give up on us and He asks us to be patient so He can work out the details of the epic and legendary journey He has planned for those who love Him.

So I will keep doing my reps until my patience muscles are sculpted :)